Friday, September 20, 2013

Christopher's Ten for 10: My Top Ten Favorite Posts

After 3 years and 1 month it has finally arrived, my fiftieth blog post. I'd first like to express my heartfelt appreciation to everyone who has stuck with me for the past three years and I'd like to give a special thank you to everyone who has ever commented on a post, whether you were pointing out a grammatical error or telling me how much you liked (or disliked) a particular post.  While I write about the things that I'm interested in, my purpose for writing is largely to entertain you all; to provide some small source of relief from the stresses of the world.  Hopefully you all have enjoyed (and will continue to enjoy) what I write as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  Now, without further ado, I give you the final post in my ten part mini-series.  "Christopher's Ten for 10:  My Top Ten Favorite Posts"  For your convenience, I have embedded links to all these posts inside their respective titles, so once you read my summary, just click on the title to read the post in it's entirety.

To start, I'd like to highlight two posts which didn't make the top ten list, but are still worth checking out (at least in my opinion).  First we have the post, "And you thought Friday the 13th was bad.... Part 1" .  While mildly amusing, the best part of the blog is not it's humor, but that it was the first in a series, a series which I never actually finished.  It has a complete cliffhanger ending and I'm one of two people who actually knows how the story ends.  Perhaps if enough of you ask for it, I'll write the sequel.  Secondly, we have,  "Which of These Things is Not Like the Other...".  I wrote this post back in May, after  a discussion I had with my Mom.  Two things make this a must read post.  1) This is one of maybe three posts where I actually mean everything I say.  The topic covered is very near and dear to my heart and I finally got tired of allowing other people to disseminate fiction as if it was fact.  2) It references the dandruff of baby Cherubs.  Need I say more?

With those appetizers out the way, I present the main course.  Let's start with numero diez.

10.  Christopher, Christopher, come there's a snake!!!!!!!   -  Long story short, there was a snake near my Mom's car and I had to get rid of it.  Did I mention that I, like Indiana Jones, despise snakes? Yeah, needless to say, some serious stuff went down that day.  (Now, you should notice that this last sentence is a classic example of an unintentional rhyme, something that occurs quite often within my writing.  I guess you could call it a trademark.)

9.  One Day Later....  Who is Christopher Webb?  No post better answers this question than, "One Day Later...".  Written the day after my final Piedmont exam, it is an inside look at Christopher Webb, unburdened.  It's a shame we don't get to see him more often.

8.  Hello Officer...    This post recounts my experience being pulled over by a police officer whilst learning how to drive, facts not required (although they are included for contextual purposes).  Christopherisms (complex analogies and metaphors that only I really understand) abound.

7.  How To Catch Vermin: A Critical Analysis of Catching Mice, Snakes, Spiders, and Camel Crickets (devil bugs).   The first in a five part advice column, this post was an instant hit.  Humor is elegantly interwoven between actual practical advice, which makes this post a must read for all who are scared of Spiders. (Note: another title for this post was going to be "Killing Spiders for Dummies", but apparently that infringed on copyright laws or something like that.)

6. How To Catch Vermin: A Critical Analysis of Catching Mice, Snakes, Spiders, and Camel Crickets (devil bugs).  Part 2   Part two of the "How To Catch Vermin" series covered an insect unique to the Albemarle county area, the Camel Cricket.  Building on the formula put in place in the previous post, this post contains references to it's older brother to reward fans of the previous post, while still remaining accessible to new readers.  (This post contains the second and slightly altered appearance of what has since been something of a catchphrase for my blog. "And remember, if you follow my advice, success will follow you like a stray dog."

5.  How To Catch Vermin: A Critical Analysis of Catching Mice, Snakes, Spiders, and Camel Crickets (devil bugs).  Part 3 Inspired by a week long assault by mice in our house (which resulted in some late nights and grumpy mornings for those of us involved), this post might be a little less practical than the others, but what it loses in applicability, it makes up for in creativity.

4.  How to Catch Vermin: A Critical Analysis of Catching Stinkbugs  My first and only foray into satire, this post is mostly a reference to the irrational fear people have of Stinkbugs, an emotion that I can't understand.  (Plus fear should have already been purged anyway.  It's not like you're battling a Terminator or anything like that.)

3.  How to Catch Vermin: Special Edition: The Dark Side of Free Will   Part rant, part research article, this post covers my (some would call extreme) reaction to some startling news that I read about on the interwebs.  The final issue of the "How to Catch Vermin" series (for now...), this post concludes with a rousing message of courage and perseverance.

2.   The Death of the Movie Theme?   The hardest post I've ever written, and by far the most satisfying to complete.  Inspired by an article that claimed that the movie theme as seen in Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc., was dead, I spent three days on vacation explaining why this simply isn't true.  What this post lacks in humor it makes up for as an academic style  persuasive essay.  While I'll be the first to admit that this post is extremely daunting to read in it's entirety (It's probably close to 4 pages double spaced), I think it would be extremely worth it to read the entire thing.  Also, listening to the music samples included further completes the experience, as these samples provide the real meat of my argument.

1.  Drive Slowly and Carry a Big Shotgun...    Every once a while, we all do something really cool and have no idea how we did it.  For some people it's an athletic performance, for others it's overcoming a fear.  For me, it was writing this post.  To be perfectly honest, I still have no idea how I wrote something this brilliant.  And I'm not being arrogant, this post has the most views and comments of any other I have written, so my readership agrees with my evaluation.  If you were to read just one of these 10 posts in your life, this would be the one I'd tell you to read.  So what are you waiting for, get to readin'!!!

Well, thus concludes this post.  As one era comes to a close, another creeps over the horizon, peaking out behind the mountains, getting ready to shine it's light upon the dewy landscape.  If you enjoyed this post, don't just keep it to yourself.  The comments are there for a reason :)   Also, if you are a current subscriber (and by subscriber I mean someone who I email whenever a new post comes out) the let me know what your favorite post is.

That's all for now, look for more posts to come on an infrequent basis (the nature of having a blog during the school year) and also pay very close attention to any posts that come out December 2013/January 2014.  Change is coming ;)  Goodbye for now and remember, if you follow my advice, success shall follow you like a cat chasing the beam of a flashlight.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Christopher's Ten for 10: Ten Things I've Done/Seen While at VCU

Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

So, I took a little longer than I thought I would to get assimilated into VCU's culture.  Sue me.  Regardless, I have returned to finish up my mini-series and finally write that oh so illusive 50th post.  Today's post will be #49 and then the big 5-O will come out tomorrow (ish).  Any who,  let's get down to business.  Without further ado, I present, "Ten Things I've Done or Seen While at VCU".

10. Get up for class before 8 on a regular basis:  Yeah, not the smartest thing for a night owl to do.  I'll admit, it has taken every ounce of my strength to get to class on time, and while I have had some close calls (most recently this morning), I'm still keeping my head above water.

9.  Watch Lie to Me - How I'd never heard of this before 2 months ago, I don't know, but this show is da fuzz.  Tim Roth is the perfect balance of crime fighter and arrogant know-it-all.  So far I've seen all of season 1 and the premiere of Season 2 and I've been very impressed. (Two notes. 1) Episode 12 of season 1 is one of the best episodes of any show I've  seen.  2) Shout out to Maddie Johnson for telling me about the show.  Big thanks).

8. Walk to get something to eat -  Pros:  You feel better about eating any type of food 'cause you know you're gonna burn it off anyway.  Cons:  If you don't feel like going anywhere you either have to suck it up, or get food a day earlier than you plan to eat it.

7.  Where a hoodie inside - At home, my house is kept at a comfortable 78 degrees.  Here, my dorm room is kept at a chilly 68 degrees.  That's not only a ten degree decrease but also a net loss of 72.573 leisure and comfort units.  On the flip side, I sleep very well and haven't had any night terrors.

6.   Read the Bible more than once a day - Pretty much the only good thing that came out of being laptop-less for a week (long story), was that all I could do was read and the Bible was the only thing I felt like reading.  Once I got the laptop back, I still wanted to read it so I've continued to read it throughout the day.

5.  Socialize outside of class- Lest I come across as a homebody, let me go ahead and say that living on campus obviously makes it easier to meet up with people spontaneously then commuting from home.  That being said, If I'd come to VCU as a freshman, I probably would be a lot less willing to trade studying for hanging out.  I've clearly matured since then.

4. Watched Dragon Ball Z and the music video, "White and Nerdy" - I'd never seen either of these before coming to VCU and clearly I only missed out on one of them.  And by one of them, I mean the one that makes you laugh, not the one that makes you want to read a textbook to regain lost brain cells.

3.  Go on a retreat -Yeah, so I'd never been on a retreat before joining VCU's Chi Alpha and needless to say, I've been missing out.  It was FAN-FRICKIN'-TASTIC.  Got to meet a ton of cool people, the large group, medium group, and small group bible studies were great, and a bevy of inside jokes were created. Can't wait to see what's coming up NEXT.  Finish this if you know how it ends, "You look..."

2. Play Ga Ga Ball - Imagine dodge-ball, but with more emphasis on body control and strategy instead of brute strength and accuracy.  Yeah, I got the same anticipation butterflies in my stomach too.  And since it takes place in a gladiatorial style arena, the action is always up close and personal.  If you've never played, look it up on YouTube, You'll end up wanting to build an arena for your house.

1.  Skype - Let's all give a round of applause for the inventor of Skype.
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Ok, stop.  Skype has allowed me to keep in contact with the folks, and see the little brothers every now and then.  It's definitely been nice to have the random conversations with the family and be able to see everyone's expressions whenever someone says something worthy of a, "Whatcho talkin' 'bout Willis?"

Thus ends the widely anticipated 49th post. Here's a preview of what's next on, "This mortal body has grown weak, I need sustenance."  Tune in next time and remember, if you heed my advice, success will follow you like a stray dog.

Post 50: Christopher's Ten for 10: My top ten favorite posts (so far).
Post 51:  Hint - Et mor chikin.
Post 52:  A look back at the Chi Alpha fall retreat (aka NEXT)