How To Catch Vermin: A Critical Analysis of Catching Mice, Snakes, Spiders, and Camel Crickets (devil bugs). Part 2

Their name strikes fear in the heart of men (and women) everywhere.
Their grotesque appearance would turn Medusa to stone.
Their leaping ability rivals Spider-man's.
Their skeleton is softer than Charmaine Ultra.


They are.......CAMEL CRICKETS.
Strengths: intimidation, fear gas, and leaping ability.
Weaknesses: Stupidity, durability, did I mention stupidity?

How to kill them:
Step 1- Sneak up behind the Camel Cricket, aka devil bugs, in order to avoid the fear gas secreted by their antennae.
Step 2- Lift the  paper towel, or napkin, three inches above the head of the devil bug.
Step 3- With complete conviction, slam the napkin down on the rear legs of the devil bug (to keep it from leaping away.
Step 4- Throw the devil bug away.

Now many of you are probably thinking, "Why can't we use a fly swatter?"  Are you kidding me???  You use a fly swatter when you don't want to be close to your enemy. Why wouldn't you want to be close to your enemy?? Because you still have fear in your heart!!!  As I said in the last post, you must purge yourself of all fear.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts, about it.  When you are fearless, you will see the devil bug for what it truly is, an impostor.  They talk the talk, but they can't walk the walk. To be fair, they can hop the hop.  Before I conclude, I want to make one statement about fly swatters.  If the insect is out of reach, you may use a fly swatter.

Now that you all have been properly chastised for your fearfulness, be bold! Go out and rid the world of these menaces to society. And remember, if you follow my advice, success will follow you like a stray dog. Or a shadow.  Or a stalker. You choose.

There is no fate, but what we make. (Terminator music plays in background).