Not the Batman Movie We Deserve, But The One We Need Right Now

Christopher Nolan has once again shown us what a real movie looks like.  If the Avengers was a comic book The Dark Knight Rises is a work of literature. This isn't the movie to take little Jimmy to for his birthday.  This movie is brutal, violent, epic, emotional, intense, suspenseful, and ultimately a fitting conclusion to Nolan's Batman Trilogy.

Christian Bale earned his cowl in this movie. The dude knocked it out of the park. Like, into the next state out of the park.  The range of emotions he displayed were just of the charts.  I would say more but I will save it for my spoiler heavy review.

I had two dreams about Bane before I saw TDKR and one after I got back from the movie.  Needless to say, they were borderline night terrors (if you don't know what a night terror is search Daffy Duck Night Terror on Youtube). Tom Hardy was a bad you-know-what, ruthless and intimidating. I wouldn't want to be caught in the same state as him, let alone the same room.

Anne Hathaway was better than I expected as Catwoman, her very first scene displays the diversity of her acting skills.  She also gets some of the funniest, and best, lines of the film along with having a mean roundhouse kick.

Michael Caine was fantastic as Alfred.  He has some of the most emotional scenes of the movie and he nails every one of them.

Morgan Freeman was very good as Lucius Fox and Marion Cotillard was pretty good in her role as well.  

Gary Oldman was great as Commissioner Gordon. His guilt at hiding the secret about Harvey Dent's true character emanates from him.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt owns the screen as Police Detective John Blake.  His optimism is extremely refreshing in a movie this dark and depressing.

Hans Zimmer delivers his greatest score yet, the music is an integral part of the film especially with the musical themes that fit the characters so well.

The fight scenes are the best of the trilogy.  The camera is away from fighters, which enables you to see everything that is going on.   There is a lot of action but it always has a reason.  Nolan never blows something up without a reason and the fights are always extremely personal (not to mention brutal).

The final act is just 35 minutes of pure adrenaline rush during which I didn't move.  I stopped eating, I stopped drinking, I may even have stopped breathing I was so caught up in what was going on.

I really can't say much more without spoiling the film, so I will right a spoiler heavy review after I see it again.  I will say this, The Dark Knight Rises is the best movie, By Far, that I have ever seen and it should be required watching for every U.S. citizen.  Go see it as soon as you have 3 free hours and you will not regret it.  

As one character says in the movie, "Oh boy, you are in for a show tonight, son". 

The Amazing Spider-Man Review - No Spoilers!!!

Let me start off by saying that I am a fan of the Raimi Spider-Man series especially the first film.  A lot of people like Spider-Man 2 the best (while Spider-Man 3 is universally criticized) but I only watch it for the action scenes which are incredible considering when the movie was made.

Let me start the review. First of all, The Amazing Spider-Man is the best Spider-Man movie to date. TASM is much more of an origin story than the '02 version and is closer to the comic book origin in some ways.  Peter Parker is in high school for the entirety of this film which is cool considering he is high school during the early comic stories.  Some of you may recall that PP graduates from high school after about 2/5ths of the '02 version.  Keeping PP in high school allowed them to do some really cool things with the plot of the story especially with one really cool action sequence that happens there (keep your eyes peeled for the Stan Lee cameo).

The plot is pretty simple.  Peter Parker is an orphan whose parents left him with his aunt and uncle when he was very young.  However, even though his parents are not physically present they do play a large part in the movie.  Peter also has to deal with the school bully, Flash Thompson, the girl he likes, Gwen Stacy, and a scientist who used to know his father, Curt Connors.  Peter gets bitten by a spider and the movie takes off from there.

Andrew Garfield is fantastic as Peter Parker, if I had not known he was British, I would have thought he was American.  The most impressive thing about his performance was how he physically approached the role.  His ability to express how Peter is feeling just by titling his head a certain way or by looking uncomfortable was great. Plus he did is own stunts which is always a bonus.

Emma Stone was great as Gwen Stacy, who I liked much for than Mary-Jane from the previous series although my dislike of MJ has more to do with how the character was utilized than Kirsten Dunst's performance.  There is one bad thing about Emma Stone playing Gwen Stacy.  Most of you don't know this but Gwen Stacy dies in the comics. And doesn't come back. EVER.  I personally have no desire to see Emma Stone die, so I am hoping that if they decide to kill her character in a future film, they will cast another actress to die in her stead. OR they can die her hair red and let her play Mary Jane when they introduce her to the story.  That's my best case scenario.

The rest of the cast is pretty good, and I liked Martin Sheen and Sally Field as Uncle Ben and Aunt May better than their previous counter parts.  The action is really great and Spider-Man is extremely creative with all of the different ways he can use his webbing.  The only thing that didn't wow me was the music.  I didn't dislike the music, but it wasn't nearly as memorable as the score for the previous series.  Despite that little nitpick, I really liked the movie and I am eagerly anticipating seeing it again.

My score is currently a 8.5/10 for the first showing but I will update the score after I see it again.  In my opinion, this is definite must see.

How to Catch Vermin: Special Edition: The Dark Side of Free Will

I'm sure that many of your are thinking that this post will discuss the moral degeneration of America.  You are 14.5632656462626% correct. I am actually writing about a disturbing phenomena that I recently heard about.  Apparently, some fine Floridians  have bought several species of snakes that are not indigenous to the U.S. and released them into the wild when they got to big to care for.

My first question is this, if a person likes snakes enough to buy one, how big would it have to be for that person to believe it is to big to care for. Well in several articles I read today, these snakes have grown to be around 13 feet long (think about this, if it were standing on its tail, its head would be at the TOP of the backboard of a basketball hoop) and can get to be 20 feet long and up to 200 frickin' pounds.  These snakes are so big that they can go toe to toe with alligators and panthers. ALLIGATORS AND PANTHERS. Uh, Houston, we have a problem.  

Why in the name of all that is good and civilized on this earth, would someone KNOWINGLY release a creature that can swim and has tremendous stealth skills into the wild.  Which leads us back to the title of this article.  Free will allows people to be really stupid. Like, releasing animals that can eat the neighbors' kids kind of stupid.  You think I'm exaggerating? One South Florida python ate a 76 pound deer and that, ain't no lie.  We all know that the zombie apocalypse is not real. But to be frank, if I had to choose between fighting a zombie or anaconda invasion (another one of the breeds that has been released in Florida) I would probably flip a coin.

Finally, researchers discovered that these snakes can survive very cold temperatures.  In fact, it wasn't until temperatures dropped below freezing for several nights in a row that the snakes died. 

But there is some good news.  These creatures can be killed by modern day fire arms like shotguns, missile launchers, and flamethrowers.  I would also recommend investing in a couple of gallons of liquid nitrogen for good measure. In addition, the Florida government has begun to take efforts to eliminate these creatures, eggs and all.  If you want to read exactly where I got this information from, I will include the links to all four articles at the bottom of this post.

Remember Genesis chapter three, these snakes want to bruise our heels, but we shall crush their heads (with a concrete block if need be).

*******************************DISCLAIMER**********************************

The Editor recommends that everyone watch Aragorn's speech at the Black Gate or Theoden's speech at the Fields of Pellenor from The Return of The King before confronting these creatures in mortal combat. I'll post it here for your convenience.

****************************DISCLAIMER ENDS******************************** 

LINKS:Snakes-in-the-grass-Is-the-Burmese-Python-wiping-out-Everglades-mammals

Everglades-snakes-problematic-so-non-native-species-banned

South-Florida-python-swallows-76-pound-adult-deer

Will-Florida-s-Burmese-pythons-move-north-How-far

Special Fan Request Post!!!!!

Recently, one of my followers suggested I write about my top 10 favorite albums of all time.  Ironically, I have been considering doing this sort of post for the last couple of months but I never had any incentive to get it done.  However, this seemed like as good a time as any to get 'er done. I'll start with my honorable mentions which didn't make it into the top ten for a variety of reasons but mainly because they just weren't as good.  I will edit this post soon so you can know why I like  (or dislike) each album, but for now I will just leave you with my list.

Honorable Mentions.

The Beautiful Letdown (Switchfoot), Diverse City (Tobymac), Transformers: The Score (Steve Jablonsky), Unbreakable (Fireflight), and Conquering the Fear (Waverly).

FYI, the percentages correspond to the percent of songs on the album that I actually like.

10. Prince Caspian Score: 60%

9. The Avengers Score: 72.2%

8. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe Score: 79.4%

7. The Dark Knight Score: 80%

6. The Chronicles of Narnia: Music Inspired by the Film: 81.8%

5. Batman Begins Score: 83.3%

4. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Score: 85%

3. X-Men: First Class Score: 85%

2.Fireflight-For Those who Wait: 100%

1b. Inception, The Score: 100%

1a. The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack: 100%

Christopher, Christopher, come there's a snake!!!!!!!

I do a lot of things.

I catch mice.

I get good grades.

I wash dishes. 

I don't do snakes.

I play with babies.

I work hard.

I read the Bible.

I DON'T DO SNAKES.

Mom takes baby to car.

Mom begins to yell frantically.

I run to the door (ok it was a quick jog).

Mom says there is a snake.

I hope she is kidding.

She is not kidding.

I run and get a shovel (this is why you leave your shovels in the yard instead of in the shed. They are much closer.)

The Fight starts.

Round 1:  I go Hulk smash on the snake.

Round 2: I miss the snake and it gets in the striking position. (My heart beats at 240 beats per minute.)

Round 3: I hit the snake.

Round 4: I miss the snake. I begin to sweat blood.

Round 5: I hit the snake. ( Mom yells advice in the background)

Round 6: I hit the snake, but at a different place. ( I try not to swear in front of mom).

Round 7:I miss the snake as it slowly tries to crawl away.

Rounds 8-11: I hit the snake. x4

Round 12: I stop when the snakes head is facing the same direction as its tail.

I lean back and breath for the first time in 39.53656654566 seconds

I lean the shovel against a tree.

Mom thanks me profusely.

Mom leaves.

I go inside.

Results. Christopher wins in 12 rounds with a knockout.

**************************** Disclaimer*********************************** 
One animal was harmed in the making of this story but to be frank it deserved it, no one attended its funeral and no tears were shed.  

Preview

I just saw The Amazing Spider-Man on Sunday, look for my review on Wednesday. My preliminary thoughts: Go see it, its well worth the money.